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Cast Day

Cast Day

Monday, July 10th Before checking in, I was already on the lookout for the other boy that will be going through the program with Des. They said they’d be the same age and they’re both left hemis. (Left Hemiplagia, or weak on the left side). […]

Serious Therapy

Serious Therapy

I haven’t posted in a looooong while and figured that this big thing that’s about to happen in July might be post worthy and something to share with you all. My dear dear Desmond is now 5. He’s been going to preschool for about two […]

The Smiles Make Up For Everything

The Smiles Make Up For Everything


Toddler is sick.
Toddler can’t go to school.
Baby won’t nap.
Baby will only want to be carried.
Back hurts.
Toddler won’t nap.
Need to feed toddler…and baby.
Clean up toddler.
Clean up spit up.
Spit up on baby and momma. Change.
Dance baby around so she falls asleep.
Play with toddler while carrying baby.
Put baby down.
Baby wakes up. Carry her again.
Mommy needs coffee, oh out milk, need milk with the coffee. No coffee for mommy.
Pay bills. While carrying baby.
Change baby’s diaper.
Pee on carpet and on toddler. Potty training still.
Change toddler.
Clean carpet.
Baby screaming on the floor.
Pick her up and dance around.
Turn on cartoons.

Where’s my coffee? Oh, I need milk with my coffee.

Baby poops again.
Dance around til she falls asleep.
Tell toddler cartoons will be done after baby is in bed. He cries.

Maybe, I can take a nap and the kids won’t notice. What time is it??? Crap, 4 more hours before daddy gets home.

Change baby’s diaper.

– – – – – – – – – –

I wrote the above and realized there’s still a lot of nursing on demand that’s missing. Some days are tough especially with an infant. But the smiles and laughter that fills this home erases every hard moment. Thankfully, there are lots to go around.

My body is exhausted but my heart is full. I thank God for blessing Nick and I with the most adorable sweet kiddos. Not happy with the poops though.

Introducing Samara Izadora

Introducing Samara Izadora

I already had 3 paragraphs written down to tell you all about what happened. But realized I’d have to write it in a couple of posts. In short, everything went the way it did. Naturally. I would have said expected or as planned, but since […]

Round 2

Round 2

  I don’t make money out of blogging so it’s easy to skip a day or two, or a month or 6 months. Ha! I realize I haven’t even written anything down about baby number 2 that is on the way. Due in 5 weeks […]

My People

Once in a while I have a motherhood/parenting thought and say to myself, “Oh yeah, that’s a good one, I should blog that.” Well, I’ve been doing that for months and don’t really post it.

Now I have a bit of time and decided I should post after reading this post from the MOPS website. I know exactly how she feels. That ripping feeling when someone questions Desmond’s size. “Oh he’s soo small!” Like, I don’t already know that. And that comment always sounds like they want an explanation. Sometimes, I find myself explaining why, sometimes I just smile and walk away.

I can’t say I’m jealous. I am not jealous of how women gave birth or how “normal” everything went. What is normal anyway? How I gave birth to Des was my normal, and that’s ok. I accept that. It’s mostly feeling hurt and appalled at insensitive people (mostly strangers and some acquaintances). But they are not my people. My people know me and love Des.

My people (Grey’s Anatomy reference there) pray with me, cry with me and celebrate with me. These are the people you keep. If you have people like this in your life, NEVER let them go. Treasure them and love them, because they are the ones that help keep you going especially through some very dark times.

I am so thankful for my friends and family who have been MY people. You guys know who you are. I want to thank you because you don’t question Desmond’s size or how he walks. You love him as your own and it makes me feel loved.

Since we’re talking about MY people. Then my husband is there on the top. He has been such a great support and encouragement to me and Des. He is such a great father to Des, that there aren’t enough words to say them all here.

Finally, to my little warrior, Desmond.  You’re right up there. You’re my favorite little guy and you have been such a blessing to us. Thank you, for being you and for loving your mama and papa unconditionally. Thank you my dear one for your funny dances, kisses in the morning and sweet caresses on my cheek when I am tired and need sleep. Thank you for reminding me that the little things in life are what makes everyday lovely and wonderful. You bring so much joy and laughter to our home, the two things your mama and papa pray for everyday.  Keep being the fighter that you are. Keep trying and keep exploring. You have gone such a long away and don’t stop because you are going to be moving mountains when you grow up. Now that I think about it, you already have.




My Sneeze Has an Echo

This is definitely the fun age! Des is talking more and more and is even making up his own songs. He loves music and loves to dance. He especially loves putting his train tracks together with his dad as well as playing with big legos. He’s […]

Definitely Asian

Desmond had a spaghetti phase for a while but it’s been months and months since I’ve served it to him since he seems to have lost interest in it. But eve since, when it comes to rice and Asian noodles, he has not once refused […]

The Best is Yet to Come

The Best is Yet to Come


I am at that moment where I feel content and everything seems to be right in the world. We may not have a house, a brand spanking new car or the ultimate dream job, but we are content. Des is doing great, Nick has a job and we are living the most amazing Seattle summer.  That is a good life to me.

Des had his High Risk Follow-up at UW Center on Human Development and Disability yesterday. The doctor told me that Desmond’s progress is impressive and that Nick and I are doing a great job. That of course was music to my ears and happy tears streamed down my face.

I am happy and so proud to know that all our hard work as well as Desmond’s (because it’s all him really) is paying off. I have visions of him running around and climbing all over the play ground.

While this feeling of contentment is swimming in my heart. There is this other feeling where it seems that something greater and bigger is about to happen. That God is not done blessing us and telling us that there is more to what we have now. Not just material stuff but in relationships as well.

I will be expecting that and I can’t wait to see where He is going to take us. For now, I will go with the flow. Love on my husband and Des, and be happy.


Why all the sleepness nights are worth it

That smile…the sound of his laughter. Our hearts are full and we love the sounds of laughter in our home. You are a blessing to us Desmond.

My Diary

Post ID:

Monday, July 10th

Before checking in, I was already on the lookout for the other boy that will be going through the program with Des. They said they’d be the same age and they’re both left hemis. (Left Hemiplagia, or weak on the left side). It is such a comfort to know that there is another boy who will be going through the same journey as Des.

After checking in, we waited about 10 minutes before the Occupational Therapist came in and asked for Des. As she was giving her introductions, that’s when I noticed the other boy, who is a bit taller than Des, observant and with an AFO (Ankle Foot Orthosis) on his left foot.

As the OT was leading us to the therapy room, the boy’s mom and I looked at each other with anxious wild eyes and I said, “Oh my.” She replied, “I know.” and I motioned to her that a tear is about to come down and she said. “Me too. Me too!”

There are only a few moments that that has happened to me. For someone to know exactly what I was feeling or going through. To be able to make that eye contact and instantly know that you are both going through the same exact feeling of anxiety, hopefulness and crazy mama bear love.

We were lead to the room and there was no small talk. They quickly put the cast on Des first. The molding of the cast happend on a previous visit and they cut a slit on the cast so they can easily take it off on Fridays for their swim therapy.

So after they slipped the cast on they asked Des what tape colors he wanted for his cast. He chose green and light blue. Not my choice of colors really but hey, it’s not my cast. Within 5 minutes of getting his cast on, he was already on a chair working with his left hand. The picture below, he is putting the tiny cherries on the little holes on a board game. That face he has, that’s his incredibly determined face. That is the face of someone you cannot interrupt at all. I tried to get him to look at the camera for this picture and it was like he wasn’t hearing me. Today, his therapist mentioned that Des does get into a zone when working on something and they couldn’t distract him or get his attention. They said he works hard to get something done.

Desmond and his new buddy Silas, loved giving each other high fives, with their casts or leftys. The OT’s mentioned that with all the kids they have worked and partnered with, Desmond and Silas were such a good fit to be going through the program together.

On our way home, Desmond complained once or twice about taking the cast off. He didn’t whine or complain after that but I could see the sadness on his face. He was thinking a lot on our way home and my heart just didn’t know how to take it. When we got home, he was so excited to see his Mamu (grandma) and show off his new cast. We had dinner, he played, put on my apron and started scooting. This kid I tell ya.

One of his favorite past times is to draw. He was so determined to draw a smiley face here. Today he didn’t pick up the pen much or play with his Legos. He did try playing with his Legos for a few minutes but then realized he’d need two hands to detach parts. That made him sad so he asked to go to the park. I think our mornings will be filled with lots of park times. I just have to avoid spray parks or wading pools.  *sigh*

And so bedtime came. He didn’t complain about the cast but had a hard time falling asleep. He did figure out how to suck his left thumb though. Ha! The hard part really was he kept on waking up to get his blankets adjusted, he woke up asking for milk or water, he complained that his hand was stuck on his pillow as he was adjusting himself. Oh my. This happened at 1am, 3am, 5am, 6am, 7am…. so pretty much I didn’t sleep. Oh and did I mention that Samara woke up screaming because of her gums? Yeahh….

That was how my morning went. Oh Lord help me. We’ll see how this goes. I am thankful for my mom in-law and sister in-law who stepped up to help me. I am so grateful to havr friends who call and text to check on how Des is doing and how I am surviving. So far, we’re in the first days. I’m still alive and Des is doing great.

If you don’t hear from me anytime soon, please look for me. Hopefully, I’m not in the closet hiding or crying. I know this is going to be so good for Des. I am just daunted by the task of being Desmond’s right hand and taking care of a teething toddler.